The Dog's Diary vs The Cat's Dairy

Aug 10, 2011

Murray_simba

The Dog’s Diary

 

  8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

  9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

  9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

  1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

  3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

  5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!

  7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

  8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

 

 

 

The Cat’s Diary

 

Day 983 of My Captivity

 

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

 

limu appetite suppressant, what drugs are used for weight loss, planning meals for the week weight loss, will enzymes help me lose weight, free weight loss surgery in louisiana, extreme weight loss coach chris powell, how much weight can i lose just cutting out sugar, how to lose weight 1 pound loss per 3000cal reduction, alex saxon weight loss, is flour in recipes good for the keto diet, obs diet pills, 250 lbs woman weight loss, fat loss pills gnc, not keto low carb recipes, caffeine to lose weight, fast weight loss company charging my account, fat free milk for weight loss, konjac foot weight loss, weight loss challenge pdf, citrus fit diet pills wholesale in florida, weight loss over 55 female, best paleo keto recipes, what happens when you lose fat, baby loses weight, white tea weight loss results, how to lose weight in your ankles, weight loss diet guide, what causes sudden weight loss in cats, how much weight can you lose from a treadmill, the best keto cookie recipes, dont lose your mind lose your weight pdf, dr donald nino channelview tx, do you lose weight by skipping breakfast, best appetite suppressant india, how much calories to take to lose weight, alicia keys weight loss, keto pork chop recipes grill, how to lose a weight in 10 days, how do females lose fat and gain muscle around their breasts without losing weight, matcha tea and weight loss, best time to weigh yourself, wei too low, dr david chang easley sc, free weight loss meal plan australia, ruck marching for weight loss, intermittent fasting for weight loss reddit, cellfood for weight loss, how to make jesus the center of your weight loss lutheran church,